Ferber Method Tips
The Ferber Method works well if you follow the plan closely. When it doesn't work, it is usually because a parent isn't actually following the actual Ferber Method, like for example they are letting their child cry without checking on them or they aren't letting their child fall asleep on their own.
Another reason that the Ferber Method sometimes doesn't work is because a parent might be inconsistent with the method, using Progressive Waiting for a few days, but then giving in and rocking their child to sleep because they are so tired themselves.
To increase their chances of success with the Ferber Method, you should:
- read all of Dr. Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problem" before you even think of getting started.
- start during a time when you can afford to lose some sleep yourself.
- be consistent with the Ferber Method once you get started, which means doing the same things at naps, bedtime, and if your child wakes up in the middle of the night.
- move your child's bedtime to the time when he typically falls asleep. For example, if he has an 8:30 pm bedtime, but his bedtime routine gets dragged out to 9:30 pm with crying and your child getting out of bed, then move his bedtime later, saying goodnight and starting your Progressive Waiting at about 9:30 pm.
- learn to set limits, such as getting your child to stay in his room at night, not reading another bedtime story, or not getting him another drink of water once he is in bed, etc., which is another important part of the Ferber Method.
- use stickers or other reward system for older children who stay in bed and give up poor sleep associations
- consider using a countdown timer, like on an iPhone, as you apply the Progressive Waiting Approach.
- rethink your approach if you aren't seeing improvement after three or four nights.
Dr. Ferber
Richard Ferber, M.D. is an associate professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School.
Parents wondering if they should trust Dr. Ferber's methods should be reassured by the fact that he is also board certified in pediatrics and sleep disorders medicine and he is the director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital Boston, where he has been treating children with sleep problems since 1978.
Ferber Method Q&A
When can you start the Ferber Method? Dr. Ferber stresses that you shouldn't start too young, but that you can likely start using these methods at around five months of age if your infant isn't sleeping well, since that is a time when many infants are able to sleep though the night.
When should babies be able to sleep through the night? Most infants can sleep through the night by the time they are about five months to six months old.
Is sucking on a pacifier a good sleep association? Not usually, especially for toddlers and preschoolers, since if the pacifier falls out, then they likely will cry out for you in the middle of the night.
Is the Ferber Method for everyone? No. Just like children have different temperaments, parents may have a temperament that would make another method better suited to them, such as Elizabeth Pantely's "No Cry Sleep Solution" or "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers." Also the Ferber Method of Progressive Waiting is mainly for kids who have poor sleep associations. It likely won't work as well if your child is sleeping poorly for some other reason.
How long does the Ferber Method take to work? Dr. Ferber states that you should usually see "marked improvement" in your child's sleep "within a few days to a week."
Is Dr. Ferber against cosleeping? No. Dr. Ferber seems to support whatever works best for a family, and offers several advantages and disadvantages of cosleeping. He does advise against cosleeping if you don't want to and simply because you can't get your child to sleep by himself.
Sources:
Richard Ferber, M.D. Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. 2nd Edition.
